My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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