drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
my poor anus
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
