great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
