New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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