i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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