I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
two words: eviction party
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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