better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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