belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
