I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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