Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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