the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
