i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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