At least make sure they are 18
Why
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
