and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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