oh god the rape fog is back!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize