If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she peed on how many people?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Green mimosas i think yes
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
