so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
