I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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