just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
