he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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