I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize