smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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