I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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