why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
