I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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