do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
