just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
