Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize