He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
