You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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