I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Randomize
