She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
