even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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