after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
