I think my vagina is haunted
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
