i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
