I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
