Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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