So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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