this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
