Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
