We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
