her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
