You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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