you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
