you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize