What did we do last night that was yellow?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Is it penis luge time yet?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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