How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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