You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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