FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
