dude i'm inner monologue high
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
