you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
