mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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