# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
