I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
