I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
