Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
