Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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