I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
