He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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